The Fate of the Elsas

So Elsa’s hurt herself probably a hundred thousand different times since the beginning of our story. Which is funny because I’m the risk taker of the two of us (this is Anna, by the way). But anyway. I’ve always thought it was just an Elsa thing. Today, well…let’s just say I’m rethinking that conclusion.

It all started with Elise climbing the dresser. That fateful dresser. And me at the bottom saying, like I usually do, “No Elise, you’re doing it wrong!” And did she listen to me? No no no, she proceeded to tell me something like, “Don’t be such a party pooper!” I guess that how I felt right then was precisely how Elsa had felt her whole life…about me.

Before long she’d reached the top, which she announced for the entire house to hear. I guess my pride was a little hurt that she’d done it so fast without listening to me. Not for long.

Because the very next instant, I heard a squeal. I hurried up the dresser to reach her and found that her foot had slipped between two drawers and she was now dangling by one leg.

“I got you, I got you!” I’d exclaimed. “Just hold still and I’ll get you down!”

“My knee!” she’d hollered. “I must’ve totally broken it!”

Well I knew she hadn’t broken it. She’d be passed out if she had, plus the two segments of her leg were still intact, so.

But anyway. I proceeded to try and get her down. It was a sticky process.

Let’s just say Elise won’t be letting me near her legs for a while. Or her head. Or her anything.

Because unfortunately the only way to get her down by myself involved me sort of…well…kind of…dropping…her…

…on her head.

So once that was done, we sort of both flopped on the floor and lay there like we were dead for a while.

That was before I ran to fetch a doctor. I was infuriated to find that maybe the one and only time I was in urgent need of Hans, he wasn’t to be found. My worries quickly went away, though, when another doctor appeared. Tal.

He helped me get Elise into Elsa’s apartment where he could examine her knee.

After a thorough poking and prodding session that Elise was none too happy about, Tal announced that it was pretty badly tweaked but would mend if she’d stay off it for a couple of weeks. Poor guy, I think at first he actually thought Elise meant it when she grouchily agreed to that.

Then he made the mistake of saying, “You think you can do that? A couple of weeks off the knee?”

Her mouth flattened into a tiny little line. “Well that’s what I said isn’t it!!” It wasn’t a question. And then she shot me a look that said, I hate you for bringing this know-it-all doctor to me.

“You’re the one who didn’t listen to me!” I snapped.

“Well that’s not why I fell, was it?” she shot back.

“Then why did you fall?” I demanded.

“Because there was something up there!”

She’d said that before, when I first got her here. “Says you,” was all I said in reply.

So then we all stood there, awkwardly saying not much of anything.

That is until Tal offered to get Elise into the wheelchair so I could wheel her home. I took the opportunity to bang my head on the doorjamb because for some reason I felt like all of this was my fault. I wondered why. It wasn’t like Elise kept shooting daggers out her eyes at me.

Within a few minutes Mo had caught wind of the incident and appeared out of nowhere to tell Elise how incredibly sorry she was for her.

“We’ll get you feeling better in no time!” she proclaimed. “C’mon, I’ll wheel you to the kitchen. Ice cream makes everything better.”

Elise scowled. “At least someone knows how to make a doll feel better.” This was directed at me, I knew it.

And so Mo wheeled her away, and she began looking a little less hostile to the world.

As for me, all I could do was press my forehead into my hand and not groan audibly.

I learned two things that day. Two very important things.

Number one, never let a doctor anywhere near Elise.

Number two, falling off pieces of furniture randomly wasn’t exclusive to my sister. Apparently all Elsas had the sorry fate of injuring ankles or hips or knees.

Number three (I know I said two but whatever) was that Elise had apparently seen something atop the dresser that had startled her and caused her fall. Something she described as humanoid, dark, and from what she could see through the glare from the lamp, weapon-wielding.

But I’m sure it was just her excuse for bad climbing.

Right?